Verity Automated Screening — Conversational Escalation Matrix (v6)

VERITY AUTOMATED SCREENING — CANDIDATE FLOW

Conversational Escalation Matrix — v6

Internal. Do not send this to a candidate. It counts as a response, and responses create obligations.

PURPOSE

To route candidate replies into one of four buckets, only one of which is “continue.”

INTERPRETATION RULES

• A candidate who answers in words where a number was requested is “non-compliant.” Re-prompt. If they answer in words again, this is “creativity,” which we do not process.

• A candidate who selects an option we did not display (“below” when we wrote “above”) has found a defect. Escalate to Tier 2. Tier 2 does not exist. This is intentional — it keeps the ticket open forever, which is cheaper than closing it.

• A candidate who asks us to resend a link: see BROKEN INPUTS.

BROKEN INPUTS

If a link we sent does not work, this is a deliberate measure of attention to detail. Do not fix the link. Log the candidate as “noticed something,” which is disqualifying. Candidates who do not notice keep the role in play; candidates who do are correct, and being correct is not a requirement we advertised.

SALARY

If a candidate names a number and we name a lower one, do not counter. Do not decline. Do neither, in writing, and let the ambiguity settle. Ambiguity is free. Add a line about a “final internal review” if a record of the exchange is ever requested.

OUTCOME NOTIFICATION

Where possible, notify nobody. Silence scales. Where a notification is unavoidable, keep it to one line and one decision, and never the same decision we gave the hiring manager.

CLOSING

Thank you for your interest in a process. We will be in touch within three business days, or never, and we will not specify which.

— Verity Automated Screening. Every candidate is a number. Please supply only that.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.