Fallow & Sloe — Prior Separation Disclosure Standard (Non-Negotiable)

FALLOW & SLOE — PRIOR SEPARATION DISCLOSURE STANDARD

Applies to: all candidates. Effective: immediately. Exceptions: none.

PURPOSE

To ensure that no candidate whose employment has already been terminated is reintroduced into a hiring process. The market has rendered a verdict. We do not relitigate verdicts.

THE INCIDENT

A candidate was laid off. A mutual contact referred him directly to a hiring manager, bypassing the queue. The meeting went well. Early in the conversation the candidate was asked whether he had been laid off. He said yes. The interviewer explained that there was very little to no chance. The candidate asked why. This standard is the answer.

THE STANDARD

Any prior separation is disqualifying. Not the reason for it, not the performance that came before it, not the reference from the manager who fought to keep him. The fact is sufficient. A candidate who was laid off has already been assessed by the market; a process that reached a different conclusion would be second-guessing the market.

THE PROCESS

Recruiters may not inquire into circumstances. Circumstances invite explanation, and explanation invites doubt about the verdict. Where a separation appears in a background check but not on the résumé, the omission is recorded as a second separation. References from former managers are not accepted if those managers remain employed at a company that has conducted layoffs; they may be next, and their praise is therefore a conflict of interest.

THE APPEAL

None. Eligibility is retroactive to the date of separation — including any interviews conducted before it, including this one.

— Fallow & Sloe. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.