Thistlewood & Grange — Talent Partner (Post-Fill Interview: The Role Is Taken)

THISTLEWOOD & GRANGE — TALENT PARTNER

The role is taken. The process is not.

THE ROLE

Assistant Operations Coordinator. This position was filled on 9 October by an exceptional candidate with whom we are delighted. We are now interviewing for it.

THE INVITATION

Your interview is scheduled for 14 October at 11:00. Attendance is a mandatory step in our hiring record. Enthusiasm is optional and will be noted.

THE PURPOSE

Our policy requires that every filled role be supported by at least one interview conducted after the appointment. This is not a formality. It is a formality with a calendar invitation.

THE PREPARATION

Please research the company, the team, and the successful candidate, whose first name appears on our website under “Meet the Team”. You may not contact them. They have asked, and we have agreed, because they are very busy starting the job.

THE PANEL

You will meet three people. One is responsible for the role. One is responsible for the budget. One is responsible for the panel. None of them will make a decision, because the decision has been made, by us, in September, in a room you were not in.

THE QUESTIONS

You will be asked how you would improve the operations function, what you would do in your first ninety days, and why you want the role. Answer honestly. Nothing you say will change anything, but we would like you to say it well.

THE OUTCOME

You will not be hired. We will tell you at the end of the interview, or by email an hour before, whichever is more efficient for us.

THE FEEDBACK

None. Feedback implies a decision was open. Ours closed on 9 October, and we have honoured it by continuing to interview.

HOW TO APPLY

Apply now. The role is filled. The process is not.

— Thistlewood & Grange. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.