Cromulent AI: Interview Attire Policy (Addendum 14)

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Interview Attire Policy (Addendum 14) · For loop use only · Do not forward

CROMULENT AI — INTERNAL MEMO

1. Candidates are to be interviewed by a panel dressed one tier above them at all times. A candidate who arrives dressed at or above the level of any executive, including the CEO, is to be recorded as "over-prepared" and returned to the pool.

2. The three-piece suit is restricted to the Founder track. Interviewers on the Technical track are limited to the Quarter-Zip (Tier 4, Non-Iron) and must not remove it, however warm the room.

3. Footwear may not exceed the interviewer's by more than one notch. Sneakers-with-blazer remains a Tier 6 garment and is reserved for candidates who have already signed.

4. Where a candidate's outfit is judged distracting, the interview is not to be stopped. Continue the loop and note the attire in the scorecard under "Culture".

5. "Cultural fit" continues to mean whatever the panel decided in the ten minutes before the candidate arrived.

6. Do not tell candidates the tiers. A candidate who asks about the tiers is, by definition, Tier 0 and may be closed.

— Talent Experience, Cromulent AI

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.