Merrick Talent Partners — Candidate Journey & Feedback Standards (Confidential)

MERRICK TALENT PARTNERS — CANDIDATE JOURNEY & FEEDBACK STANDARDS

Confidential. Disclosure to a candidate would constitute feedback, which is not a service we provide.

ROUNDS

Three interviews is where a serious process begins. Add a final presentation, unpaid, before any offer. Call it seeing you in action. If the candidate withdraws, publish that the withdrawal revealed their character. The homework was never the point; the endurance was.

FIRST CONTACT

Replace the first human round with a five-minute AI interview. Request audio and video. Supply no score, no ranking, and no rejection. The candidate will answer to thin air; we will answer to no one.

FREE WORK

Assign a task with a Sunday deadline. When the candidate points to their portfolio, add one more question. When they ask to be paid, remind them — with warmth — that we are running a business of crores. Scale is its own justification.

SIGNAL

Tell the candidate they are the top choice. Hold the offer. Wait three years, then email to confirm their start date as if a weekend had passed; if they object, reply with a lecture — ideally machine-written — explaining that following up was their job. Silence is the process. Their patience was never the point.

SILENCE

Notify no one. Where notice is unavoidable, keep it to a single line, and never the reason.

— Merrick Talent Partners. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.