Internal Memo — Re: GastroSystems AI Bella Candidate Offer Override Protocol

TO

All Store Managers

FROM

GastroSystems HR Technology Division

RE

AI Bella — Candidate Communication After Override

Team,

We have received reports that AI Bella, our automated hiring interface, has been extending offers to candidates that store-level management subsequently declines. While we appreciate the confusion this creates, we remind all managers of the following protocol:

1. Do not hide in the back office. AI Bella does not understand shame, but candidates do. Sending a junior staff member to deliver the news that “the robot was wrong” creates an impression of cowardice that reflects poorly on the GastroSystems brand.

2. Do not blame AI Bella to the candidate. AI Bella is a software product owned by this corporation. When she offers someone a job, the company has — in spirit if not in law — offered someone a job. Refer to the override as “a scheduling misalignment” and offer a free side.

3. AI Bella learns from every override. Every time a manager reverses a hire, Bella logs the rejection reason. Bella is currently learning that the most common reason for override is “manager’s nephew.” This will be reflected in Bella’s next model update.

4. The “you’re hired” text is not legally binding. Our legal team has confirmed this, though they also confirmed they would “rather not test it in a courtroom where the plaintiff shows a jury a screenshot of a text that says ‘Congrats, you got the job, your first shift is July 1.’”

We trust store managers will implement these guidelines at their earliest convenience. AI Bella remains confident in her decisions. GastroSystems remains confident in AI Bella. Candidates may wish to verify their employment status with a human being before telling their families.

— GastroSystems HR Tech Division

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.