Harrow & Finch Talent — Candidate Experience Standards (Confidential)

HARROW & FINCH TALENT — CANDIDATE EXPERIENCE STANDARDS

Confidential. Reading these to a candidate would inform them, which we do not do.

THE APPLICATION

For entry roles, require a short video in which the candidate introduces themselves and explains why they want to work here. The role pays the minimum. Decline anyone who does not submit one; enthusiasm is a filter, not a question.

THE LISTING

Lead with the salary. It is the only number the candidate will weigh. Midway down the posting, add the lifestyle expectation — a large family is assumed — and note that accommodation and transportation are provided, and are withdrawn, together with the job, the home, and the car, if the expectation ever lapses. Bury the mandate. Let the salary do the recruiting.

THE FIRST ROUND

A thirty-minute automated interview, before any salary is named. Call it an assessment. Whatever you call it, do not call it a salary disclosure.

KEEPING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

Let recruiting send the rejection while the hiring manager books the interview. Both are true. By the time the candidate works out which one is real, the week is over.

— Harrow & Finch Talent. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.