goodbye, interview.
⚠ Satire — this document is fiction. The companies and people are made up. The maths, regrettably, is real.

From the Satire Desk · general · Issue —

Halfmoon & Sable — Official Nose (No Interview, No Diploma, 2,000 Euros)

HALFMOON & SABLE TALENT — OFFICIAL NOSE

Location: Turku Archipelago, Finland. Duration: five to seven days. Fee: 2,000 euros, travel and accommodation included.

THE ROLE

Our client seeks one Official Nose to smell the Turku archipelago: sea air, pine forests, saunas, fresh bread. The successful candidate will describe each scent on camera for a tourism campaign. No interview. No diploma. No experience. A working nose, comfort on camera, and a passing acquaintance with social media are required. The campaign is called “Get a Nose Job.” We did not name it. We would have.

THE PROCESS

There is no CV. Applicants submit an Instagram or TikTok video demonstrating the nose in question. The deadline is 25 October; the winner is announced on 17 November; the work itself takes place in May or June 2027, which gives the successful candidate six months to practise smelling things.

THE SMALL PRINT

This is not a permanent position. There is no career progression from Official Nose, though we are told the view is excellent. Candidates who ask whether “olfactory fieldwork” counts towards annual leave will be considered “not a culture fit,” which is our way of saying they have read the posting.

HOW TO APPLY

Film yourself smelling something. Anything. Our client will know.

— Halfmoon & Sable Talent. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.

📱 UNFAIR. — an unfair advantage for an unfair process. Coming to mobile.See the app →