Gormless Systems: Walk-In Employment Protocol

**Gormless Systems, Inc. — Internal Memo**

**Re: Walk-In Employment**

It has come to the Talent Committee's attention that sending CVs is exhausting for applicants, and reading them is exhausting for us. We are therefore eliminating both steps.

Effective immediately, candidates are instructed to skip the application and simply walk into any Gormless office and begin working. If questioned by security, the candidate is already on payroll — a position will be reverse-engineered to match whatever they are doing.

Should law enforcement be summoned, the candidate is directed to proceed to the nearest police station and begin working there as well.

We expect this policy to reduce time-to-hire from "indefinite" to "you are already here," and to lower applicant drop-off to zero, on the technicality that there are no longer applicants.

— The Talent Committee, sent from the desk you are already sitting at.

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.