Gormless Systems: Senior Platform Engineer - Remote (for Visibility)

**Gormless Systems, Inc. - Job Advertisement**

**Position:** Senior Platform Engineer - Remote (for Visibility)

Gormless Systems seeks a driven, self-sufficient engineer to join our lean team. Compensation is competitive for a role that does not actually offer the location advertised.

**About the role:**

- Tagged 'Remote' on every job board to maximize applicant volume

- The role is 100% on-site, five days a week, in an office with a single, wilting fern

- Remote work is available to the company's analytics dashboard and no one else

- The job description includes the phrase 'listed as remote for visibility' in small print, between the words 'we' and 'are'

**Requirements:**

- 5+ years' experience in a stack we will disclose after round four

- Willingness to be screened, scheduled, rescheduled, and ghosted in the standard sequence

- Enthusiasm for explaining to interviewers that you did, in fact, apply for this job

- Comfort with the candidate experience serving as the product demo

Candidates who accept the role 'for visibility' and then require an at-home presence will be fast-tracked. All other applicants are encouraged to apply for visibility and rejected for visibility. Please address salary questions to a recruiter who will be unavailable from 9 to 5.

- The Talent Visibility Team

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.