Now Hiring: Senior Prompt Engineer — 10 Years LLM Experience Required. (ChatGPT Launched 2022. You Do the Math.)

FROM

Talent Acquisition

TO

All Hiring Managers

RE

Updated Job Requirements for Q3 2026

CROMULENT AI — INTERNAL MEMO

Effective immediately, the following minimum qualifications apply to all open requisitions at Cromulent AI:

SENIOR PROMPT ENGINEER: 10+ years of hands-on LLM prompt engineering experience. Note: ChatGPT launched publicly on November 30, 2022. Applicants unable to demonstrate pre-2022 prompt engineering experience will be auto-rejected by our ATS. Time travel is not considered a reasonable accommodation under our remote work policy.

JUNIOR DATA ANALYST: Master's degree in Data Analytics required. Bachelor's degrees in Statistics, Mathematics, or Computer Science will not be considered. Starting salary: $38,000. Please note that our Master's in Data Analytics programme (launching Fall 2027, $64,000 tuition, conveniently offered through CromulentU) may satisfy this requirement retroactively for candidates willing to defer compensation until graduation.

ALL ROLES: Candidates must submit a 40-hour take-home project demonstrating exactly the work they would perform in the role. Projects will be evaluated within 6–8 weeks. We will not provide feedback. Successful candidates will be ghosted for a minimum of four weeks following submission as part of our proprietary Culture Fit Assessment. This is not a bug.

Applicants who ask about salary before the final round will have their applications withdrawn. Applicants who do not ask about salary before accepting an offer will also have their applications withdrawn. We trust this clarifies our commitment to transparency.

— END MEMO —

From the Satire Desk at goodbye, interview. All companies and people in this memo are fictional. Satire is always labelled and never names real companies — the true stories do that on their own. Spotted an error of fact in our non-fiction? Corrections.