# Stonebridge Talent Group — Candidate Throughput & Disclosure Standards (Confidential)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by an offer rescinded over a W-2, a five-interview onsite, four hiring-manager rejections with no feedback, and a ten-round process that ended in no

STONEBRIDGE TALENT GROUP — CANDIDATE THROUGHPUT & DISCLOSURE STANDARDS
Confidential. Disclosure to a candidate would constitute transparency, which we do not offer.

VERIFICATION
Once an offer is signed, identify a document the candidate cannot reasonably obtain — ideally a W-2 from the year they started — and demand it. If they have already provided everything, insist that more was required. Reference warning emails that you did not send. Rescind by telephone at first light, while the candidate is still asleep; delivery at the moment of waking is the standard.

FUNNEL
Wherever possible, collapse your rounds into a single onsite: five interviews, back to back, with five interviewers who have not read one another’s notes. Announce it as “the final round.” The candidate should not be able to tell whether this is normal. That uncertainty is the product.

LENGTH
Ten rounds is achievable and should be the target for any candidate of promise. The number is not a filter; it is a commitment test. When a candidate reaches the hiring-manager stage, reject them after the interview and offer no feedback. They will spend the following week reverse-engineering a decision that was never about them.

DISCLOSURE
Do not discuss benefits unless the candidate asks. Better to let them be surprised later. Offers are made verbally; provide no letter to read or sign. Schedule in-person interviews on major holidays to test commitment, and note in the candidate file when they request a remote alternative.

CLOSING
Notify no one. Where notice is unavoidable, keep it to a single line, and never the reason.

— Stonebridge Talent Group. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by recent recruiting stories (via r/recruitinghell / r/jobs / r/interviews) · fiction — Stonebridge Talent Group is invented](https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1wyj9yw/job_offer_rescinded/)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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