# Pilgrim Saint Chemical Works — Production Technician (Salary $160k–$180k)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a mainstream job board listing for a “Chemical Production Technician” that demanded conversion, a large family, and bundled housing and transport that vanish together with the job

PILGRIM SAINT CHEMICAL WORKS — PRODUCTION TECHNICIAN
Salary: $160,000–$180,000. Full accommodation and transportation provided. Read the listing to the end before applying. Most do not.

THE ROLE
You will operate a chemical mixer. You will also become a faithful Pilgrim Saint and assist in establishing our new religious organization. The two are not separable. The mixer is the smaller part of the job.

THE LIFE
Having, acquiring, or establishing a large family of your own would be expected. Consider the attention to your private life a benefit. It is not optional and it is not private.

THE PACKAGE
We provide full accommodation and transportation — a home, a car, and a job, together. You will want to think of them as one thing, because they are. Should you fall short of the family expectation, you will lose your job, your house, and your car at the same time. This is stated plainly, in the listing a mainstream job board reviewed and published.

WHY IT PAYS SO WELL
It is a chemical mixing job.

— Pilgrim Saint Chemical Works. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by a job-board listing (via r/recruitinghell) · fiction — Pilgrim Saint Chemical Works is invented](https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1wy4pzv/found_this_chemical_tech_job_on_indeed_today_it/)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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