# Oakeshott & Vale — Chief of Staff (Twelve-Hour Days, Three Years, Nights Included)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by Silicon Valley’s viral chief-of-staff advert

OAKESHOTT & VALE TALENT — CHIEF OF STAFF
Location: Menlo Park, in person. Hours: eight to eight, generally. Duration: three years, described in the brief as “a chapter.” Compensation: not listed. That is the first test.

THE ROLE
Our client is not looking for a scheduler. He is looking for a thought partner — someone to evaluate deals, meet founders, research unfamiliar technologies, draft briefs, and support portfolio companies. Once trust is earned, the successful candidate may speak on the principal’s behalf, briefly, before being corrected.

THE HOURS
Twelve-hour days. Availability on nights and weekends when needed, a phrase that has never, in the history of employment, meant “rarely.” The principal has clarified that there is no specific hourly requirement. He works eighty hours a week. Applicants are expected to keep pace, which is not a requirement, merely an expectation with a calendar attached.

THE PROCESS
No cover letter is required. The posting asks only that candidates not need predictable hours, a defined playbook, or frequent direction. Those are listed as disqualifications. More than a thousand people applied anyway, which the firm regards as proof of the market and not, under any circumstances, of the terms.

THE SMALL PRINT
This is not a dedicated investing seat or a guaranteed path to one. It is a seat adjacent to one, for three years, at a salary to be discussed after the chapter ends. Candidates who ask about overtime will be considered “not yet calibrated.”

HOW TO APPLY
Send a short note explaining why you need less sleep than other people. Or don’t. The principal will infer.

— Oakeshott & Vale Talent. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by a viral job advert (Vinod Khosla’s chief-of-staff listing, reported October 2026) · fiction — Oakeshott & Vale is invented](https://www.mk.co.kr/en/it/12178742)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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