# Meridian TalentWorks: Approved Job-Ad Phrasing (Internal Style Guide)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a post on X

MERIDIAN TALENTWORKS — INTERNAL
Talent Brand & Copy Compliance · Circular 14-B
Subject: Approved job-ad phrasing

Team,

Following the Q3 alignment sync, the substitutions below are mandatory across all postings, decks, and 'we're hiring!' graphics. The goal is warmth. The goal is also, per Legal, that nothing here reads as a promise.

· 'Unlimited PTO' — preferred. Approved reading: take it whenever you can justify it. Do not put that in the posting.
· 'Fast-paced environment' — retain. Better than 'severely understaffed'; worse than saying nothing.
· 'Competitive salary' — keep, but never attach the number. The number is the only part candidates check.
· 'Wear many hats' — keep. We have one salary and several jobs.
· 'Like a family' — approved for culture pages only.
· 'Rockstar' — approved. 'Paid like a rockstar' — not approved, and not our department.
· 'Hybrid — flexible' — approved. Attendance expectations to be set verbally, later, on a call nobody records.

Any deviation requires written sign-off from a VP. There is one VP. She is on leave.

— Talent Brand

*Source: [Inspired by @randomrecruiter · X · 1,181 likes, 82 reposts, 12 replies · 10d old](https://x.com/randomrecruiter/status/2095542676976283663)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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