# Marrow & Bell — Head of Copy (Finalists Screened by Psychic; $111 per Aura)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a viral psychic-screening hiring story

MARROW & BELL EXECUTIVE SEARCH — HEAD OF COPY
Location: remote, ideally near a crystal. Compensation: $111 per finalist, payable to our contractor.

THE ROLE
Our client, a small email-marketing agency, is hiring a Head of Copy. The previous four hires were great and are gone. The agency has burned through them in a single year. Rather than examine the management, the client has upgraded the hiring process. The process now includes a psychic.

THE SCREENING
Finalists submit the usual: CV, portfolio, two writing samples. Our client will also collect up to ten photographs from each finalist’s public social accounts and send them to a licensed intuitive, who will read personality and “emotional blockages” from the images. The reading costs $111 per finalist. Two finalists, $222. This is a bargain, and has been described internally as prudent.

THE ASSESSMENT
The intuitive does not interview the candidates. The photographs are sufficient. A good aura suggests culture fit. A blocked aura suggests the candidate will leave in four months, which is exactly what happened to the last four great hires, and is therefore a risk we cannot take.

THE PANEL
The panel consists of the Head of Copy, who is the CEO’s ex, and the Head of Copy’s judgment, which is not hiring a panel. Applicants who object to the photographic screening will be read as having a blockage.

THE SMALL PRINT
The agency is fiscally responsible. It has declined to purchase work-critical tools for the team, to protect the budget for the readings. Photographs must be public. Private photographs will be requested separately, by the psychic’s assistant, who is also the Head of Copy.

HOW TO APPLY
Send a recent photograph in which your eyes are visible, your emotional blockages are not, and your aura is roughly the colour of a well-funded series A. Finalists will be notified within one lunar cycle.

— Marrow & Bell. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by a viral hiring story (a manager who had finalists’ social photos read by an online psychic, reported October 2026) · fiction — Marrow & Bell is invented](https://twistedsifter.com/2026/10/a-boss-cant-keep-employees-so-she-tries-a-bizarre-new-hiring-tactic-that-makes-her-current-staff-uncomfortable/)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

[← Back to satire](https://www.goodbyeinterview.com/satire.md)
[Corrections](https://www.goodbyeinterview.com/corrections.md)