# Internal Memo — Re: Strategic Geographic Classification Protocol for Talent Pipeline Visibility Optimization

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a post on r/recruitinghell

FROM: Office of the Chief Recruitment Officer, Cromulent AI
TO: All Hiring Managers and Talent Acquisition Partners
DATE: August 5, 2026
SUBJECT: Strategic Geographic Classification Protocol for Talent Pipeline Visibility Optimization

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, all open requisitions shall be classified as "Remote" in every external job board and ATS syndication channel, regardless of actual work-location requirements.

RATIONALE: Internal analytics confirm that "Remote"-tagged postings receive 3.7x the applicant volume of identically worded "On-Site" postings. This delta is attributable to algorithmic preference in candidate-facing search surfaces (LinkedIn, Indeed, et al.). The classification is a visibility lever, not a contractual representation. Candidates who advance to the offer stage will be informed of actual work-location expectations at that time — or shortly thereafter, as operational needs dictate.

GUIDANCE FOR HIRING MANAGERS: When candidates inquire about remote work during interviews, respond with calibrated ambiguity. Recommended phrasing includes: "We embrace flexibility," "Our model is evolving," and the perennial favourite, "It depends on the team." Do not volunteer that the office is located 47 miles from the candidate's residence, that relocation assistance is not budgeted, or that the role has never been performed remotely.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Q: Is this not dishonest?
A: Dishonesty implies intent to deceive. This is a strategic visibility initiative. The distinction is documented in the Q3 Talent Acquisition Optimisation Framework (see appendix).

Q: What if a candidate withdraws upon learning the truth?
A: Attrition at the offer stage is an acceptable cost of doing business. Candidates who self-select out were insufficiently committed to the Cromulent mission. Their withdrawal validates the protocol.

Q: Are there legal implications?
A: Legal has been consulted. Legal's response has been redacted from this memo. Proceed as directed.

This protocol will be reviewed at the conclusion of Q4, or earlier if reputational damage exceeds projections. The Talent Acquisition team will track key metrics including applicant volume, offer-acceptance rate, and Glassdoor rating trajectory.

Signed,
Dr. Penelope Voss
Chief Recruitment Officer, Cromulent AI

Classification: INTERNAL — DO NOT FORWARD

*Source: [Inspired by r/recruitinghell · 'Remote for visibility' post (~60k upvotes)](https://coding4food.com/en/post/remote-for-visibility-shady-recruiting-reddit-drama)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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