# Harrow & Finch Talent — Candidate Experience Standards (Confidential)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a fast-food application that demanded a video, an Indeed listing that turned into a cult, a thirty-minute AI interview before any salary, and a recruiter and a hiring manager giving the same candidate two opposite answers in one week

HARROW & FINCH TALENT — CANDIDATE EXPERIENCE STANDARDS
Confidential. Reading these to a candidate would inform them, which we do not do.

THE APPLICATION
For entry roles, require a short video in which the candidate introduces themselves and explains why they want to work here. The role pays the minimum. Decline anyone who does not submit one; enthusiasm is a filter, not a question.

THE LISTING
Lead with the salary. It is the only number the candidate will weigh. Midway down the posting, add the lifestyle expectation — a large family is assumed — and note that accommodation and transportation are provided, and are withdrawn, together with the job, the home, and the car, if the expectation ever lapses. Bury the mandate. Let the salary do the recruiting.

THE FIRST ROUND
A thirty-minute automated interview, before any salary is named. Call it an assessment. Whatever you call it, do not call it a salary disclosure.

KEEPING THE RECORD STRAIGHT
Let recruiting send the rejection while the hiring manager books the interview. Both are true. By the time the candidate works out which one is real, the week is over.

— Harrow & Finch Talent. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by recent recruiting stories (via r/recruitinghell) · fiction — Harrow & Finch Talent is invented](https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1x2z7pe/7_rounds_of_interviews_over_4_months_flew_me_to/)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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