# Cromulent AI Memo 2026-172: The Compensation Curiosity Protocol

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a post on X

CROMULENT AI — INTERNAL MEMO
Talent Acquisition Division · Policy Update
Re: The Compensation Curiosity Protocol

To All Recruiters:

Effective immediately, any candidate who asks "What is the budget for this role?" before volunteering the number they are currently paid will be met with a brief, purposeful silence.

The silence is not a technical fault. It is a negotiation position, calibrated to last precisely as long as it takes for the candidate to grow uncomfortable and fill the void with a figure of their own. Should the candidate fail to produce a figure, the silence may be extended, and the call may be scheduled for a follow-up, which will in turn be scheduled for a follow-up.

Candidates who persist in asking about the budget will be referred to the careers portal, which contains a salary band for every role. The salary band section has not been populated since 2019 and remains under active review, much like the candidate's application.

Guidance for common openings:
- "What salary are you looking for?" — always lead with this.
- "What's the budget?" — the protocol above.
- Candidate names a number below the real range — accept with quiet gratitude. Do not make eye contact.
- Candidate names a number above the real range — express surprise, then reopen the search.

We remain fully committed to market-rate compensation, provided the market is polite enough not to ask the rate first.

— The Satire Desk

*Source: [Inspired by @randomrecruiter on X](https://x.com/randomrecruiter/status/2093005628725735778)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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