# Cromulent AI Memo 2026-171: The Gap-Year Appendix

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a post on X

CROMULENT AI — INTERNAL MEMO
Talent Acquisition Division · Policy Update
Re: The Gap-Year Appendix

To All Recruiters:

Effective immediately, every resume gap of six months or longer must be accompanied by a Gap-Year Appendix explaining, in no more than 500 words, what happened and why it is not the company's problem.

Initial guidance on acceptable gaps:
- 'I went to Yale' — acceptable. The interviewer is instructed to hire the candidate immediately, ideally before the candidate finishes the sentence.
- 'I cared for a family member' — acceptable, though the committee would prefer you spend the full 500 words proving it.
- 'I was laid off' — flagged for human review. Human review is currently scheduled for next quarter.
- 'I tried to start my own company and it failed' — do not write this. We have seen this before. This is not a Yale.

Candidates who decline to provide the appendix will be marked 'insufficiently reflective.' Candidates who provide an appendix without an Ivy League affiliation will be scored against a rubric we will write later, in private, and which no candidate will ever see.

We are confident this policy will reduce time-to-hire for candidates with the right background while giving everyone else a clear, documented reason for the outcome they had already assumed.

— The Satire Desk

*Source: [Inspired by @Simon_Ingari on X](https://x.com/Simon_Ingari/status/2092507819627151765)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

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