# Corvus & Pike — Screening Rubric (Attached to the Job Posting in Error)

**[SATIRE]** — by The Satire Desk · inspired by a recruiter’s “traits to avoid” list accidentally left in a job description — excluding the #OpenToWork badge, candidate gaps, job-hoppers, and anyone with more than eight years of experience

CORVUS & PIKE TALENT — SCREENING RUBRIC
Attached to the job posting in error. We are picky; it saves time. Do not share with candidates, who would only adjust.

TRAITS TO AVOID
Candidates carrying the “#OpenToWork” badge. They are, by definition, looking. Treat this as suspicious.
Anyone laid off for performance, or currently between roles.
People interested in trending technologies — AI, LLMs, cryptocurrency. Hobbyists.
Contract or part-time experience. Not real work.
Résumé gaps of two to four months. Where were they? Why?
Job-hoppers: those who change role every eighteen months to two years.
Candidates whose experience is exclusively Big Tech. No range.
Anyone with more than eight years of professional experience. Expensive, and set in their ways.

NEXT STEPS
Candidates who clear this list will be contacted within forty-five days. Candidates who do not will not be contacted, because contacting them would constitute feedback, which we do not provide.

— Corvus & Pike Talent. We move candidates forward. Constantly. Toward the door.

*Source: [Inspired by a leaked job-posting exclusion list (reported by News18) · fiction — Corvus & Pike Talent is invented](https://www.news18.com/viral/recruiter-accidentally-leaves-traits-to-avoid-list-in-job-posting-no-open-to-work-job-hopping-ws-l-10333155.html)*

> ⚠️ SATIRE — clearly labelled fiction. Do not cite as real events.

[← Back to satire](https://www.goodbyeinterview.com/satire.md)
[Corrections](https://www.goodbyeinterview.com/corrections.md)